I am 30 now and I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night, startled awake by my own giggles. I greet my ancestors every morning now and every so often I sit in the peaceful warm embrace of my great great grandmother’s love. I’m trying to document how I got here and as usual, I’m bringing you along with me, with all the chaos of a stream of consciousness…
Continue reading “Surrender”
Word to the wise: “I wish somebody would’ve told me/warned me/prepared me” is a shitty feeling. If we wanted women to succeed we would stop selling them fantasies. It’s not informed consent if you don’t know what to expect. We teach girls that they “become women” at menstruation, that they’re destined for motherhood (conveniently omitting sex as the path to said motherhood) and condition us our whole lives to become wives (“no one will marry you if… “) but somehow they still fail to tell us the truth. The whole truth. Fantasies are for children and continuing to perpetuate them robs us of our agency.
Continue reading “[Un]informed consent”
I don’t like writing about medicine if I can help it (ya’ll have asked). But as I start preparing to rejoin the clinical fracas (death by a 1000 cuts) I would like to reflect on power: I think we have a profound misunderstanding of the amount of power we wield over one another as colleagues. The damage we do. I’m going to tell you a tale of casual cruelty that stuck with me longer than it had any right to. But it illustrates my point perfectly *minor details changed for obvious reasons*
Continue reading “Casual[Cruel]ty”
It’s been super gawky being reborn. Turns out that if you’ve accidentally been using your survival instict as a default function, over time it becomes your standard operating system. It’s been clunky unmaking and remaking myself, rediscovering and improving myself but here’s what I’ve got:
Continue reading “[Un]made”
Letters of resignation,
Continue reading “Resignation & Retirement”
A cathartic overdue reflection. This is not a manual on how to quit. It’s a meditation on what happens when you get caught in the spin cycle of grief (Denial, Depression, Bargaining, Anger, Acceptance) and what happens after each stage of the tussle: a lovely mess.
Continue reading “Whisper Gardens”
I’m learning to listen to all the dreams I whisper and “joke” about so that I don’t have to to reckon with the extent of my longing. The whispers are like seeds: tend to them for they’re trying to tell you the things that you’re not ready (or willing) to know about yourself yet.
I love contradiction. I enjoy being one. I love that the human experience is one shot, no training wheels and full of surprises (and it’s been a while since I did a listicle of my weird and wonderful unsolicited thoughts on stuff).
Continue reading “Norms & Conditions”
Post call is a strange time. I’m excited about going home to bond with my pillow but I’m just lucid and loopy enough to have philosophical and emotional breakthroughs. “Somewhere between psychotic and iconic”. This is the sequel to Science and Faith.
Continue reading “An Education”
This one hits close to home and is a long time coming. With every passing generation our cultures and home languag\nes become more and more at risk, threatened and endangered. I may not be ready for the future children who inspire such thoughts but I’m finally ready to have this chat. Continue reading “Culturally Speaking”
How did this little writing experiment change my life? How did it warn me to cut ties with a bad friend, take a break from medicine or make my vision board in March? Turns out I’ve accidentally been writing on my brain.
Continue reading “[W]rite of Passage”