Word to the wise: “I wish somebody would’ve told me/warned me/prepared me” is a shitty feeling. If we wanted women to succeed we would stop selling them fantasies. It’s not informed consent if you don’t know what to expect. We teach girls that they “become women” at menstruation, that they’re destined for motherhood (conveniently omitting sex as the path to said motherhood) and condition us our whole lives to become wives (“no one will marry you if… “) but somehow they still fail to tell us the truth. The whole truth. Fantasies are for children and continuing to perpetuate them robs us of our agency.Continue reading “[Un]informed consent”
I don’t like writing about medicine if I can help it (ya’ll have asked). But as I start preparing to rejoin the clinical fracas (death by a 1000 cuts) I would like to reflect on power: I think we have a profound misunderstanding of the amount of power we wield over one another as colleagues. The damage we do. I’m going to tell you a tale of casual cruelty that stuck with me longer than it had any right to. But it illustrates my point perfectly *minor details changed for obvious reasons*Continue reading “Casual[Cruel]ty”
Letters of resignation,
A cathartic overdue reflection. This is not a manual on how to quit. It’s a meditation on what happens when you get caught in the spin cycle of grief (Denial, Depression, Bargaining, Anger, Acceptance) and what happens after each stage of the tussle: a lovely mess.
Continue reading “Friendship love letter VI: Post Mortem”
I take friendship seriously and it is a hill I’m willing to die on. Platonic intimacy is what keeps our human cylinders firing and we’ve collectively allowed it to become a secondary function of relationships. Your life partner will love you and do things to and for you that a friend cannot (eg. change your last name or bind your bloodlines) but what they cannot do is fulfill and round out your life the way friends can. Friendship is the prize. Always.
I think I have this idea in my mind that I’m a very laid back person . It’s dawning on me (at an admittedly snail’s pace ) that that’s simply untrue. I mean, there’s a lot that I don’t mind but there’s plenty that I do. And thats the secret: minding is OK!Continue reading “Minding & Maintenance”
I am certain of three things: I want a meaningful and fulfilling life. I love clinical medicine (amongst other things) and things can’t continue as they have. I’m losing faith.
As a community service medical officer in one of the most interesting health care systems on the planet, I’ve seen how easy it is to point fingers when we discuss its failures. For once let’s point the finger in all directions to find something resembling the truth: yes we’ve been set up but we’re also failing each other. (grab some refreshments, it’s a long one)
Learning is a tricky thing. What happens when you have to unlearn things you were certain were true? Things you didn’t even realise you believed? If it feels like you’re pulling at something deeply rooted, remember that it’s only weeds because now you’re learning.
I enjoyed history so much growing up. The stories of fearsome warriors, evil acts and human triumphs. I learned how separation, misinformation and propaganda (aka psychological warfare) were the tools of choice for evil regimes on the other side of the world. I never dreamed that these tools were still at work. Here and now.