Reflections

Dear lovely humans who may or may not know me. Here’s a (relatively) short and reflective post getting to know the human behind this non-blog.

My very first post (Beginnings) was a 17 things to know about me. I think it’s worth reevaluating this list in honour of the 30th (!) post. Besides, I’ve just been on a surprisingly healing holiday and the blog just turned one (we share a birthday).

1. I love travelling. Its become self-evident that solo-travel has become a true love but travelling with friends is wonderful too! Call me restless.
2. I enjoy live music. Be it concerts, festivals, an intimate jazz lounge or backyard chillas. Day or night it’s a Yes. The energy and vibe of live music is unmatched.
3. Family is the most important thing to me. Friendship is special because not only is it family, its chosen family. If you’re not up to the task of friendship with someone that’s perfectly OK: I have several fond acquaintances and colleagues that I enjoy immensely. All of the fun with none of the responsibility.
4. My grandmother is my soul mate and great love of my life. She’s my favourite human and the only person I’d make a pregnancy pact with (in that she has some say in when her great-grandbaby may arrive). Sorry possible future life partner.
5. I still haven’t developed good mechanisms for failure. It’s one of the reasons for #MonthlyFail. I want to be as good at failing as I am at winning. Also, I’m using failure as a metric for a life lived fully and fearlessly. For context please see the your favourite poem’s favourite poem: If by Rudyard Kipling.
6. My favourite poem is Desiderata by Max Ehrmann. Hearing Tom Hiddleston reading it didn’t hurt either (#BringBackTheLovebookApp!)
7. I still think I’d be OK living on a remote island catching fish and farming my own fruits and veggies (with TV-specific WiFi and some kind of library access). I’m a country girl at heart. Except I’m nocturnal and mornings are not for me.
8. Capitalism. Every 3 months like clockwork I get really bummed out by the economic system (for daaaaaaaaays on end). The powerlessness of it all and how its so entrenched and inescapable and how we’re all complicit and how the poor don’t stand a chance (or rather, they stand a one in a million chance) and and and… Ugh, what are we going to do? Yes, billionaires shouldn’t exist. They’re a system failure.
9. Love alone is not enough. Love is powerful and transformative, it makes the world go round (I truly believe that). It is the glue that holds the human condition together. Love redeems us as a species. That being said, it will not single-handedly save your relationships. It’s a master tool but it’s not the only tool required.
10. Medicine is a bad boyfriend. I love it but I don’t always like it. It gives me just enough love back to keep me on the hook. I don’t know if I should be trying to change it from the inside or if I should leave (I really don’t want to because I love it but also, see point 9).
11. I want a happy, exuberant and fulfilled life. It’s hard to drown out the noise of what I should want. Currently calibrating my internal compass. I still want to be a Renaissance Woman. All I know is this: 4 words were whispered into my heart one morning tears ago and I believe its what I am called to be. Audacious, authentic, creative and empathic.
12. Marriage might not be for me. I’m still evaluating and reassessing my stance but at this pint in my life, I’m not quite sold. I don’t think it’s a dead institution. I’ll happily attend weddings and bear witness. It’s a joyous thing.
13. That being said, I believe in partnership and relationship. Humans are wired for community and anyone who says otherwise can say so elsewhere.
14. Shannon Boodram has a lovely video about plants coming with care instructions (how to love me) and that we should figure out what our care instructions are and communicate them. Mine are: don’t overwater me, give me space not neglect, I need consistency, quality time, acts of service and actions are louder than words (but words are nice too, I’m chestnut a fan). The surest way to break my heart is callousness and inconsistency. Wow issalot. Again: a timeous “no” is always always always better than standing me up. I won’t ask questions.
15. I have a vicious streak when betrayed. I keep it in check. For now.
16. I’m surprisingly private; it’s less about secrets and more about protecting my space. This is interesting because I’m also quite an open book. There’s your contradiction! Sometimes I wonder if I’m sharing too much but writing is therapeutic like that.

17. When I get excited about something I want as many people as possible to experience that thing. I don’t believe that exclusivity makes things more/less special.

Rapid fire: fav word-numinous, fav song of the moment-Shea butter baby by Ari Lennox, fav colour-forever yellow, pet peeves-unreliable colleagues and unearned forced authority. Unproblematic fav- watermelons. Fun fact: If I proofread before posting I lose my nerve (that’s why I’m cool with being asked to edit errors afterwards).

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